Consumed.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Think of that for a second ....

There are so many possibilities of what you could do if fear was not a factor.  The funny thing about fear is that for a specific moment or situation, it has it’s place.  It’s completely reasonable to be afraid of scorpions if you don’t know how to handle them without getting stung.  I was told not to walk in grassy fields because there are scorpions, snakes, and more importantly land mines and mortars.  I think it’s reasonable to be cautious of these areas.  It makes sense for me not to wander through fields here, there are dangers.  But it would be completely insane if I avoided fields in Canada because the level of danger is significantly lower.

This same principle applies to our lives.  Our fears had validity at one time, and our shields where useful during those times.  But if we carry around our shields, cautiously applying them to every situation, we look ridiculous and miss out on so many amazing things.  

Maybe you are afraid of not being good enough.

Maybe you are afraid of missing out on adventure.

Maybe you are afraid of being alone.

Or maybe you are just simply afraid of not being able to undertake a seemingly overwhelming task.

All of these fears are valid fears, and probably have a very reasonable basis for their existence in your life.  But are the protective shields you’ve put up truly protecting you, or are they shielding you from being able to ... go out and have that adventure?  Or from really being able to receive love?  Or from being able to really push the boundaries of what you are capable of doing?

In Mark 4:35-41, Jesus’ disciples are in the middle of the sea, waves are crashing all around.  They are terrified for their lives, and with good reason.  I would be!  And where is their Teacher?  He is sleeping soundly.  Jesus is woken up by a heap of panicked boys, yelling at him to save them, probably wondering why he hasn’t just done so in the first place.  

“Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?!”

Or Matt 8:25, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”

How many times have you said that to God?  

“God save me!  I’m in trouble on my own!”

Of course you’re in trouble on your own.  When things start to get tight, we start to panic and will only feel safe when everything is back in our control.  Funny enough, often things get out of our hands because we can’t gain control.  We give control over to Fear.  It consumes us.

Look at what the disciples do next: As soon as they plead to Jesus, he calms the storm.  As soon as you call on God in your turmoil, He will show up.  I promise you.  

He will give you humility when you fail.

He will give you courage to move out of your comfort zone.

He will give you comfort when you are alone.

He will dissolve your anxiety about the ginormous task ahead of you.

“You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” (matt 8:26; mk 4:40).  I’m sure God says that to me on a regular basis.  “Chels, after all we’ve been through, do you honestly not believe I’ll show you the way?”  I imagine him chuckling a little, as a parent would chuckle at their child who is crying in stubborn frustration, forgetting that the parent can and will help.  But the kid’s gotta ask.  I am one stubborn kid, I can tell you that right now.  I really have to put my pride aside when I ask for help.  But you know, God has always been there to help me out.  He always shows up, I have never ever been let down. 

I could go on and on about this, but I will say only one more thing from personal experience.

While I was preparing to come over to Cambodia, and even since I’ve been here, people always seem surprised that I decided to do this on my own.  I have “so much courage” they say.  And maybe that’s true.  But I honestly do not feel this was a Herculean task to undertake.  I prayed about it.  I asked people I trusted and respected if they thought it was a good idea.  And then prayed some more.  

Then I booked the flights.

Out of all of that, I think maybe the flight-booking part was the most courageous, considering the state of my bank accounts at the time.  But even still, I have more than enough money to get me through my time here.  I still feel a little overwhelmed with teaching, but that’s a day-at-a-time thing.  Actually come to think of it, this whole process has been a day-at-a-time deal.  I pray every morning for God to give me courage and wisdom in the classroom.  Even while I’m having fun on my time off, I pray He will build His House and that I would not get distracted building my own.  

Maybe that’s the lesson we need to learn: Take everything a day at a time, not worrying about tomorrow yet. 

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” (matt 6:25)

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (phil 4:6,7)

And my personal favourite:

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast your anxieties on him because he cares for you.  Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil [fear] prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith because you know that your bothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of trials.  And the God of all grace, who called you ... will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.  To him be the power for ever and ever.” (1pt 5:6-13)

Amen.

(shout out to Max Lucado's Fearless for inspiring some of these thoughts ...)